If you want my window seat, offer me something better
PSA as a parent: Traveling with kids doesn't entitle you to a seat swap
You’re settling down in your seat, putting all the bits and pieces into their place. A nice lady taps your shoulder and says “My child would really like to look out the window. Do you mind letting him sit at the window seat?”
I’m writing this as a parent and I get it, traveling with kids is stressful and you want to keep them entertained by looking out the window. But that does not entitle you to a free seat swap. Let me preface this, I’m not picking a fight with parents, I am also a parent that travels with kids, but if you were traveling solo and a parent asks you to swap, would you do it?
Many airlines actually discourage seat swaps as it messes with the loading and operational safety. Sure one swap isn’t gonna do much but when everyone starts requesting for one it becomes a nightmare for the crew. In some countries unaccompanied minors cannot be seated with adults or kids need to be seated with their guardians, in the age of low cost travel, many families choose to skip paying for a seat and would rather rely on the goodwill of others or hope for the best.
I’ll admit, I’ve requested seat swaps before while traveling with my kids (more on that later) but it had to be reasonable. This matter irks me because I’ve had plenty of people roll their eyes rolled at me when I board with many passengers assuming that I am that entitled parent again. So please, to make life easier for all other traveling parents, hear me out.
When not to ask for a seat swap
No, don’t offer me your middle seat for my window seat.
Seriously, don’t run the middle-seat hustle. You got the middle seat, you keep the middle seat. If you want the window seat you need to buy it when you book or select it at online check in (if available). Nowadays many airlines would gladly sell you the window seat for an extra couple of dollars, just take it. And conversely, if I bought the window seat I’m definitely not giving it up for free. You wanna pay for it with mark up? Then we can discuss again.
I want to sit together with my kid
Well, then you should book your seats together. In some countries airlines have to accommodate parents and children together. But with low cost carriers assigning random seats, your best guarantee is that you just pay up.
I’ve taken two trips with low cost carriers this year, one with HK Express and one with AirAsia. In both cases I traveled with my wife, my three year old daughter and an infant. I know my wife needs me during the flight to keep my daughter entertained, help with bags, feeding… basically keep everyone sane. I was not going to risk the airline separating any of us for a nightmare trip with my wife. In both cases I also managed to book us in the last few rows so we could have the galley as an escape from our seats if we needed to stand somewhere with the baby.
When to ask for a seat swap
The first long distance trip I did with my daughter was when she was two years old. We traveled from Hong Kong to Doha to Johannesburg. My strategy was to book outer seats so that we could potentially have a free seat in the middle because space is a luxury on long distance flights.
On the Boeing 777-300, we booked the middle section of four seats and kept one seat free hoping that no one would select the middle seat. We weren’t that lucky because someone ended up selecting it as it was a full flight. We offered to take the middle seat and let him have the aisle seat instead. Win-win.
Our strategy worked for two of the four flights, but we missed our final flight due to a delay and we were put onto the next flight which was already full. After much back and forth with the agents, they put us two separate rows and told us to ask on board if anyone would be willing to swap (case in point, agents also realize its a problem for families so they’re also willing to make some accommodations). In this case it was exactly the same seat but just in different rows and the kind passengers were happy to swap.
The Strategy
Basically it’s very simple, if you want to swap seats you need to make sure that the person you’re swapping with is getting a better deal.
Basically it’s very simple, if you want to swap seats you need to make sure that the person you’re swapping with is getting a better deal. Give up your window or aisle for his middle seat, even better give up your business class seat if that’s what it takes to be seated with your child in economy- I’m sure there’ll lots of takers!
But if I paid for it, there’s no way I’m just giving it away. If you want to guarantee your seat, please just buy it. It will save you a lot stress during the journey as well instead of fighting for seats with strangers.
But if you chose to ignore the above advice (which you are totally entitled to), before you ask for a seat swap, put yourself in that solo traveler’s shoes. Would you be happy with such a request?